Israel: Flotsam and Jetsam

Updated

December 15, 2004 In a few days I am off to LA and then in a few more days I am off to Eretz Yisrael for the first (and maybe last) time in my life.

I don't feel particularly inspired to post but I wanted to record something before I leave. Maybe I'll update this every day beforehand.

~~ I have returned with overwhelming jetlag, and a reaaaally bad cold thanks to young gorgeous guy with an Iranian J father and a Norwegian J mother who was planted beside me.

* I fret about the weather. I want it to be warm to hot hot hot, which is the way I have always envisioned experiencing Israel; I was willing to faint at the Wall from the heat in a diaphanous yet modest dress. I love the desert and I love long dresses. Yet here the cold, cloudy days and rainfall rise up to me in the forecast. Feh, I see jeans in my future.

~~ I wore jeans, except for Shabbat services on Saturday. The first day the sun shone on all our efforts. It even shone on Friday. noon, after I had traipsed across half of Jerusalem, made it to the Jaffa Gate in the Old City in the midst of a heavy rainstorm. I daven at the Wall (Kotel) and as I leave the sun burns through my clothes and dries the deluge.

* I hate the details of packing. I want a lackey.

~~ I still want a lackey.

* There is nothing cooler or more heartwarming than to be travelling with people you consider bashert or, at the very least, 'family".

~~ Oooooookay. This did not turn out as expected......

* I couldn't change my money to shekels at my local credit union. Don't they know I am going to Eretz Yisrael????

~~ I changed money at hotels. I hear the sucking sound of usury. I did not find alternative avenues, but then, I had little time. Next time I would do it so much differently.

* Single women are singled out at borders because they think we are all, the rest of female humanity, every single last one of us, stupid enough to fall for terrorists in disguise. It only took one woman to make the difference, as it only took one guy with nuclear capable shoes to force me to go barefoot, i.e., with totally naked tootsies, and grace the floor of a million cooties. This happened to me while recently going through LAX. Ewwww.

~~ Well, that happened to me on a US flight- major upper body checking by a woman, in full view of other passengers. It was done well and I did not feel too humiliated. I figured it primed me for further worries, which turned out to be fruitless. Indeed, my rabbi was singled out on the way back.

* If anyone does a body search I plan on describing it in total detail on this blog because I know it's because I am single and I am outraged and I hope that they all die slow humiliating deaths for putting me through this because of one gullible woman who is NOT ME.

~~ Alas, it did not happen. There is nothing to describe. YIPPEEEEEEE!

* Because I am travelling as a single, I am rooming with the 16 year old daughter of people known to me. But then the rabbi's son who is her bud is coming along as well. Which leaves the exceptionally chatty 12 year old younger sister. Guess who is gonna get stuck with her? And I want the window seat for everything- they are young they will have opportunities to go back as for moi I am not so sure. How am I going to pull off a mature image when I'm backhanding a kid out of my way?

~~ It happened. I got the almost 18 year old (not 16- how time flies!) for one bus ride but she changed to the back. The babe was with me at the beginning and made my Wall life less than perfect but she found a bud to hang out with for most of the trip so I was saaaaaved!

* On the upside, I am rooming with a seasoned shaliach tzibur (prayer leader). She could come in handy.

~~ She did not. A whole other story that turns out to be life-changing for me.

* Another upside: all erstwhile travellers, all of us, will have a mass aliyah this coming Shabbat. To receive the blessings for travellers to the Holy Land...how often does this happen to any of us in a lifetime? Does it get any better than this?

~~ It doesn't get any better than this, in my opinion. That moment lives.

* Can't we just stay at the Wall for the entire time???? There should be a tour to the Wall which includes room and board on the plaza.

~~ I still wish it. I imagine it takes mucho bucks to land on "Wall/Kotel Place".

* The hotel is many stars but without a lot of character. Whine whine whine. I hope the view is good. I demand a good view! I live and die by the view.

~~ Eh! It was totally without character, but it had a view. Well, the rabbi got the view of the Old City. We got the view of the ugliest apartment building in the modern city. And a rather spacious view of Jerusalem nevertheless (pix to follow). Internally, I whined. Sue me.

* I bought a digital camera for the trip because it would cost me less overall than film and processing and would make life easier. I still haven't learned to use it. The guide is a million pages.

~~ I learned to use it on the plane. I still haven't really learned to use it. But digital cameras RULE!

* I don't wanna know that they take down the prayers reverently placed between the stones every day. Did you want to know? Well, now you know and you can suffer with me.

~~ I placed several prayers there over time. I no longer care about their removal.

* Recently a thought, G-d forbid, has occurred to me- what if I hate it, or am indifferent? What if the entire trip is just plain awful? Oy!

~~ I did not have a load of fun. It was not perfect. The tour company made it hell. Other issues arose. I was furious the last 3 days.

Yet, to describe the trip? I cried at the thought of leaving.

For me, experiencing Israel was profound. That's the bottom line- it was profound. Life-affirming. A revelation. More to follow.

As for what follows I will have comments turned off. That was part of my awakening. Sojourning in Eretz Yisrael can really clear the mind.